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Cerita 1
Ondu : Kau lahir di mana?
Pilit : Bofot (Beaufort) bos.
Ondu : Yalah, bahagian mana?
Pilit : Bahagian mana apa? Satu badan lahir di Bofot.

Cerita 2
2 urang (orang) mekanik sedang kasi bagus Bom Masa dlm kereta.

Mekanik 1 : Apa ko buat kalau tu bom meletup masa ko sedang kasi (bagi) bagus?
Mekanik 2 : Apa susah,saya ada satu lagi bah bom spare. 

Cerita 3
Ondu : Apa nama kereta ko?
Pilit : Alaa.. sa (saya) lupa ..tapi yg sa (saya) ingat dia start dari "T"
Ondu : Eeh, pelik juga.. yg sia (saya) tau semua kereta start dari petrol.

Cerita 4
Ondu dapat kerja baru, jadi kerani taip-menaip.
Boss dia sangat gumbira sebab c Ondu kerja dari pagi smpai ptg nda (tak) berehat di depan komputer.
Boss : Apa yg ko buat dari pagi sampai petang?
Ondu : Itu huruf di keyboard inda (tak) tersusun,jadi sia (saya) susun lah.

Cerita 5
Penjaga muzium Sabah : Oiii!!! Tu barang yg baru kau kasi pecah tu 500 tahun punya bahan.
Pilit : oohh,nasib baik! Sia (saya) sangka ini baru kena beli.

Cerita 6
Waktu kemalangan , C Ondu nangis2 Huhu,Putus tangan sia (saya)!
Pilit : Lilek (relax) kau! Ko (kau) tingu (tengok/lihat) tuuna (itu) di sana, dia hilang kepala nda (tidak) pun dia nangis.

Cerita 7
Masa temuduga engineer ,
Penemuduga : kasitau (Beritahu) sia (saya) mcm mana Motor Elektrik Bergerak?
Pilit : Bruuummmmmm..BrummmmmmBrummmmmmmmmmm!!!
Penemuduga : Berhenti!
Pilit : Brummmmmm..bum..bum..bumbum..berhenti suda.

Cerita 8
Pelancong : Itu tengkorak siapa?
Pemandu pelancong :Itu raja dulu2 masa dia tua.
Pelancong : Yang tengkorak kici (kecil) d sebelah tu?
Pemandu pelancong : Ohh.. itu yg time dia kici2 (kecil2).

Cerita Pendek Lawak Sabahan


PETALING JAYA: Seringkali masyarakat lebih cenderung menyalahkan wanita sebagai punca utama apabila berlaku situasi pasangan sudah lama berkahwin, tapi masih belum dikurniakan zuriat.
Malah ada suami yang menjadikan alasan tersebut untuk berpoligami kerana mahukan zuriat dengan isteri kedua.
Selepas berkahwin dengan isteri kedua, masih juga tidak dikurniakan cahaya mata, memaksa si suami berkahwin lagi satu!.
Entah di mana silapnya, dengan isteri ketiga pun hasrat untuk mendapat anak tidak kesampaian, sehinggalah diperiksa,  rupa-rupanya pihak lelaki yang mempunyai masalah kesuburan.
Hakikatnya, ia adalah kisah benar pasangan berpoligami yang dikongsi Pegawai Perubatan Kesihatan Wanita dan Kehamilan, Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia (KKM) Dr Muhammad Izzat Abdul Razak menerusi satu posting di Twitternya yang tular baru-baru ini.
Menurut Dr Muhammad Izzat, tidak ramai menyedari bahawa golongan lelaki sebenarnya berpotensi mengalami masalah kesuburan.
"Kes masalah kesuburan memang banyak terutamanya membabitkan pihak perempuan. Dalam kes-kes yang pernah saya kendalikan, 40 peratus lelaki mengalami masalah itu manakala 60 peratus melibatkan golongan wanita. Masalah kesuburan lelaki berlaku dalam kekerapan tujuh peratus dalam kalangan lelaki.
"Peratusan itu agak tinggi dan signifikan. Jadi kedua-dua pasangan perlu melakukan pemeriksaan untuk mengenal pasti punca sebenar kepada masalah yang melanda mereka," katanya kepada mStar Online.

Dr Muhammad Izzat berkongsi kisah masalah kesuburan melibatkan salah seorang pesakitnya.
Beliau berkata, sikap ego yang ada pada diri lelaki membuatkan mereka sangat yakin bahawa masalah sukar untuk mendapatkan zuriat sebenarnya berpunca daripada wanita.
"Lelaki ni ego dia tinggi. Jadi bila jumpa doktor tu dia akan suruh siasat isteri dia terlebih dahulu.
"Dia tak nak disiasat sebab kononnya dia tahu dia memang tak ada apa-apa masalah. Ini mungkin sebab dia fikir prestasinya semasa di ranjang tak ada masalah," katanya.
Justeru, Dr Muhammad Izzat menasihati para suami supaya bersikap terbuka dan berani menerima hakikat.
"Jadi ego tu kena buang jauh-jauh. Istilah orang dulu-dulu kalau tak ada anak, pihak perempuan yang bermasalah, itu tidak relevan.
"Tidak ada bukti yang mengatakan wanita 100 peratus adalah punca kepada masalah kesuburan. Jadi konsep untuk hamil ini memerlukan benih yang baik daripada kedua-dua pasangan," katanya.

Jelas beliau lagi, langkah terbaik bagi mengatasi masalah kesuburan adalah mendapatkan khidmat nasihat pakar, pemeriksaan dan rawatan.
"Jangan anggap ini adalah pengakhirannya. Kita ada prosedur yang menolong pasangan bermasalah seperti ini, lebih-lebih lagi lelaki yang ada masalah sperma melalui teknik pembedahan.
"Ada prosedur pembedahan pada lelaki untuk mendapatkan sperma yang bagus dari testis untuk proses persenyawaan," katanya.
Namun beliau berkata, peluang untuk pasangan bermasalah itu untuk mendapatkan zuriat bergantung kepada penilaian doktor dan keadaan pesakit.
"Tak semua berjaya. Kadang-kadang kalau kita buat pembedahan pun tak jumpa benih yang bagus pada lelaki, jadi persenyawaan tidak boleh dilakukan," katanya.
Ditanya mengenai kes membabitkan salah seorang pesakit dan tiga isterinya, Dr Muhammad Izzat berkata lelaki tersebut akhirnya sudah menimang cahaya mata.
"Dia dapatkan rawatan tahun lepas. Kita keluarkan sperma dia yang bagus untuk buat persenyawaan. Akhirnya dia dapat anak dengan isteri ketiga," katanya.

Jangan terlalu yakin, hebat di ranjang, 'performance' terbaik bukan jaminan subur - Doktor

PETALING JAYA: Sebuah rakaman video dan gambar menunjukkan Presiden PKR, Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim beramah mesra dengan beberapa pemimpin Umno di ruang menunggu Parlimen telah mencetuskan spekulasi tentang situasi politik negara.
Namun, ramai yang berpandangan situasi itu adalah satu kebiasaan untuk ahli Parlimen meletakkan ke tepi perbezaan politik dan beramah mesra.
Sudah menjadi kebiasaan untuk ahli Parlimen berselisih pendapat di Dewan Rakyat, namun mereka boleh berbual mesra di ruang menunggu tersebut.
Kadangkala, ketika sesi membalas pendapat yang pedas, ahli Parlimen selalu bergurau bahawa mereka boleh berbual tentang pelbagai perkara ketika menikmati teh di ruang istirahat Parlimen.
Oleh itu, ia bukanlah satu pemandangan luar biasa untuk melihat para menteri dan pembangkang duduk bersama sambil berbincang tentang pelbagai isu.
Gambar menunjukkan Anwar berbual dengan bekas Menteri Pelancongan dan Kebudayaan Datuk Seri Nazri Aziz, bekas Menteri Pertahanan Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein, Ahli Parlimen Pontian, Datuk Seri Ahmad Maslan, Ahli Parlimen Parit Sulong dan Ketua Wanita Umno Datuk Dr Noraini Ahmad, dan Ahli Parlimen Baling Datuk Seri Abdul Azeez Abdul Rahim menjadi tular di media sosial.
Sebuah klip berdurasi 49 saat menunjukkan Hishammuddin, Anwar dan Nazri bergelak ketawa dan bersenda gurau antara mereka turut menjadi perhatian.
Beberapa orang cuba menggambarkan video itu secara negatif dengan mendakwa ahli Parlimen terbabit ingin melompat parti, namun Nazri menafikannya dan berkata, tiada apa-apa yang perlu 'dibaca' daripada gambar dan vide tersebut.

Gaduh dalam Dewan Rakyat itu biasa, tapi masih boleh bergurau sambil minum teh



KOTA KINABALU: The Sabah state government will set up a body to carry out an in-depth study on the move to take over Sabah Electricity Sdn Bhd (SESB) before a decision is reached on the matter.

Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Shafie Apdal said he would be chairing the committee while the members would include representatives from the Ministry of Infrastructure Development and Public Works Department, and State Secretary Datuk Hashim Paijan to see whether the state government should be taking over the utility company or not.

He said the study would also ensure a win-win situation for the state government and federal government including Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB).

The state government should first see and decide on a number of options before a decision to take over SESB is brought to the central higher-ups by next year, the latest.

SESB has a lot of issues and liabilities. However, the state government realises the need to enhance its capability in order to attract investors to Sabah by ensuring consistent water and electricity supply and at a reasonable price,he told a news conference at the State Legislative Assembly building here.

Mohd Shafie said Energy, Technology, Science, Climate Change and Environment Minister, Yeo Bee Yin and her delegation including a TNB representative in their meeting in October also proposed that the state government take over SESB.

On another development, Mohd Shafie said the state government had requested that the Sabah Ministry of Finance and State Attorney-Generals Chambers study closely the water concession agreements to ensure that all these agreements were fair and just.

On Tuesday, the Ministry of Infrastructure Development informed that it was in the final stage of reviewing the agreements with the water concessionaires towards reducing the costs that the state government has to pay to the companies involved.

The ministry revealed that six companies had signed the contracts for a 20-year period to manage the water supply but could not solve the water problem in Sabah.



The state government is also expected to be able to reduce the total costs to the concessionaires down to RM1 billion if those appointed are hired or overseen by the ministry.  Bernama

Sabah govt to form body to study move on SESB takeover Shafie


Offering mountain views,
Azrien Homestay Kundasang is an accommodation situated in Ranau, 11 km from Mount Kota Kinabalu and 185 km from 1Borneo Hypermall.
Guests staying at this holiday home have access to free WiFi and a terrace.
 The holiday home comes with 3 bedrooms and a fully fitted kitchen with a fridge and a stovetop.
A flat-screen TV with satellite channels is offered. Guests can also relax in the shared lounge area. The nearest airport is Kota Kinabalu International Airport, 99 km from the property.

 This property is also rated for the best value in Ranau! Guests are getting more for their money when compared to other properties in this city.

Contact

 Address:
Kundasang Town, 89308 Ranau, Sabah

Telephone: 019-360 4517

Azrien Homestay Kundasang



If you love hiking or outdoor activities you should visit the Sosodikon Hill. It is also know as Pyramid Hill. The hill located about 5km from Kundasang Town. To reach the place, take the same road to Desa Cattle Dairy Farm (check out the map tab).

It is a true outdoor experience. After reaching the place you have to leave your car behind (at the road side) and walk to the entrance which is about 1.5km from the main road. You�ll have to pay RM3.00 for the entrance fee.

In other for you to really enjoy the scenery it is advised that you start the climbing before 6:30am in the morning. By doing this you�ll have the privilege watching the sunrise and also view of the mighty Mount of Kinabalu. Equip yourself with an outdoor shoes, one with good grip.

There are 2 trail for you to choose (might be more..). The difficulties of each trails are varied. The one start in valley (As a reference, there�s also a well at the starting point) is more easy and safe but take a little longer. Ask around (the local) if you�re not sure. It will take you around 20 � 30 minutes to reach the top of the hill.

Address: Kg, Jalan Kundasang Kauluan, 89308 Kundasang
Business hours:
Open 7.00 AM ? Will be closed at 6:00 PM
Phone: 012-820 7609

Sosodikon Hill, Kg Kauluan, Kundasang



Lankayan, a tiny jewel-shaped island located on the northeastern coast of Sabah, is part of the Sugud Islands Marine Conservation Area (SIMCA) and is surrounded blue-green waters and coral reefs. It is also one of Sabah�s top diving spots.

The availability of jungle interior and interesting diving attracts both divers and non-divers alike to Lankayan.

14 dive sites including the Lankayan Wreck, all only minutes away from the island, offer magnificent displays of marine life ranging from giant groupers to tiny ribbon eels. Enormous whale sharks are regularly sighted between March and May, and the island is also a nesting site for green and hawksbill turtles. You can watch as the baby turtles are released back into the sea.

The Lankayan Island Dive Resort has sixteen attractive wooden chalets with beach fronts and the common dining area extends to a sundeck jutting out to the beach.


Further Contact

Pulau Sipadan Resort & Tours Sdn Bhd (KPL 2536)
Block B, 1st Floor, Lot B-1-1, Plaza Tanjung Aru,
Jalan Mat Salleh,
88100 Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia.
+60 88 238 113

Lankayan Island


Pulau Mantanani is a cluster of three isolated tiny islands to the northwest of Kota Belud. It was so isolated in fact that not until recently, only a few locals knew the existence of the islands. One of the main reasons that Mantanani Islands is popular among tourists is because of its picturesque scenery, cool breezes and serene environment. But most popular attraction of Pulau Mantanani are the dugongs. The Mantanani Islands seem to provide the ideal habitats for dugongs with sea grass beds and shallow sandy areas within the encircling fringing reef of the islands.

Highlights: These islands present popular diving and snorkeling destinations because of their crystal clear waters and colourful coral reefs.

How to Get ThereThe islands are accessible by a one-hour speedboat journey from Kuala Abai jetty, Kota Belud, 80 km north-east of Kota Kinabalu

Pulau Mantanani Beach

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